A senior animal rights activist today alleged that Siberian tigers were little more than wild animals when it came to dietary options.
Seymour Bottomley insisted that Siberian tigers have a choice when it comes to dietetics and that in most cases the choice taken was the wrong one because the tigers insisted on killing things and eating meat, despite the fact that meat is murder. As is killing things.
He went on to say that given the civilized option, the tigers should start the day with a bowl of muesli, have a few raw carrots for elevenses, pasta with mushrooms for lunch, and a nice salad with rocket, cucumber, sliced tomatoes and wholemeal bread for dinner.
Armed with this information we prepared the said dishes as described and went to Marwell zoo to gauge the tigers' reactions to such a radical dietary about turn.
The tigers just prowled around looking really hard and like they couldn't wait to kill something.
So, yeah, we suppose meat is murder.
But try telling that to a hungry Siberian tiger as he's severing your spinal column in his powerful jaws.
We promise you, he will give not a shit.