Written by Angus McFiddle
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Topics: Sex, Condoms, Scouts

Monday, 20 October 2008

image for Earn your Scouting For Girls badge
A scout leader, yesterday.

Scouts in the UK are to be taught how to have sex, for a new badge.

Known for their ability to build things for badges, teenage scouts will be asked to demonstrate a perfect erection that must stay up all night.

Eager Beavers who come early will not qualify - only Scouts who come on time will earn the badge.

A Norfolk scout troop leader, Mr Jack Elate, welcomed the new badge, saying he was looking forward to his next "camping" trip with the boys.

Local councillor Fred Fiddler said the scheme was being introduced as part of the Government's campaign to stamp out teenage pregnancies. As part of the badge, scouts would learn to put on a condom, and they would be taught that anal sex does not get you pregnant.

Rubbing his hands with glee at the new initiative, Mr Fiddler said, "I have personally volunteered my time to help get this new badge off the ground, and have invited some of the smartest scouts to my home for private tuition."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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