The Church of England scientific home investigations team can reveal gays are made of cheese.
S.H.I.T. Has spent over 300 years investigating homosexuality and invested over 600 sugar lumps of God's money to prove that homosexuals are made of cheese.
The investigations team originally charged with discovering if gays could be burned came up with the equation - 2pG = babybell, which an annoyed journalists girlfriend was able to randomly confirm.
Church head Arch Bishop of Canterbury Blowing William announced "Momentously after 300 years of open and then secretive compressing homosexuals sessions at Salisbury cathedral. In the interests of Humanity we have at last been able to produce a mini babybell cheese including the wax! From a gay."
He continued "Woof Barking am I, the original reason for the research was designed to find an easier way to burn the deviants that shunned God's path. But we have proved that cheese is evil in the late 13th century referring to the work of monk grevolio "the bonkers" of Nottingham. And now we have proven that gays are made of cheese, ergo gays are evil cheese and must be eradicated or at least given a wide berth."
This the church confirmed in a statement "We are a backward lot of retards and tattooed warnings on homosexuals does seem to be the way forward quack quack bark."