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Topics: Madonna, Guy Ritchie

Friday, 17 October 2008

image for Over for Madonna and Guy
Guy at the glory hole on Hampstead Heath

The world now knows that the highly private eight year marriage of Madonna (60) & Guy Fux (19) was a sham.

Guy, a small time film maker and part time postman spilled the beans today following their "amicable" divorce.

He commented: "I don't care, she can have it all. The electric tin opener, the trabant, her coke stash and our entire collection of used Tampons (discarded by the rich & famous). Oh and those famous tin tits."

Guy is going public on all the dirt, he stated that Madge (as he also calls her) is a control freek, She tells him to wash his Y fronts every month dirty or not and apparently Madge is also into "Golden Rain" in the marital bed chamber. Apparently the old girl dons a gas mask and wellie boots and sprays like a fire hose!

Guy admits he hates getting wet, although George Michael pissed on him once on Hampstead Heath and that was fine.
Guy was quoted as saying "we didn't really want all those foreign kids but "she " insisted just to get the Child benefit".
When asked about the ten million pound mansion in Holland Park West London, Guy said " she can shove it, and it would probably fit"

In reply to Guy's vicious attack and threat to go public, Madonna spoke to the press outside her getaway caravan home in Canvey Island (East Essex) " Gee don't believe a goddamn word he says, we don't even have an electric can opener" the real problem is his Dick size an he's shit scared of those tin tits, She said " Guy (or Fuxy as she some times calls him) is a bit of a wet or not depending what night it was. She said when it comes to sex he can't satisfy a real woman. On hearing this Guy said to the Sunday Sport " with peroxide hair, coloured lenses, a plastic face and tin tits where's the real woman? (Bitchy Eh?

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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