Written by Double Diamond
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Friday, 17 October 2008

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Home of the most depressing man in the world

Its official! BBC presenter Jeremy Vine has been declared as the most depressing man in history!

His utterly depressing monologues regarding the current global financial crisis via BBC's "Panorama" have seen UK suicide rates rocket!

A countrywide survey on Mr Vine found a compelling concensus that his dour, doom-laden prophecies of financial armageddon were indeed enough to send people off to the afterlife.

"He really puts a fucking downer on tea-time" quoted one disgruntled Mancunian.

Of course, the viewing public in the UK like nothing more to be reminded of the economic devastation they face, so perhaps Mr Vine is providing a public service.

We managed obtain the following quote from him just this afternoon:

"Fuck off and leave me alone!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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