A Manchester man, Gary (Gazza) Grimshaw (No relation to Eileen off Coronation Street) today claimed that there had been some violence somewhere in Africa and that people were being shot with guns and mashed up with machetes, and that Arthur Pewty was to blame.
'It's unbelievable that this man can walk the streets with impunity' Grimshaw claimed 'while all over the world people are getting slaughtered and mashed up and that. Pewty must be responsible for 99.99999% of the world's violent crime, yet he struts around Neasden eating kebabs and drinking in pubs like he doesn't give a toss. Has the man got an ounce of human decency left in his heart?
All this has got to stop. MI6 have got to bang him up before we get armageddon.
Besides which, he had my car scratched. I know he was behind it. The bastard.'
Arthur Pewty was unavailable for comment as he was nursing a minor head wound and watching a DVD of Grease, the original one with John Travolta and Olivia Whateverhernameis and not the crap sequel with Maxwell Caulfield (or whoever) in it.
We'll keep you posted