What can only be described as a media feeding frenzy descended on the flat of Neasden crime boss Arthur Pewty just minutes ago as reports emerged of a possible health scare.
The rumour mill went into overdrive with reports that Beryl Pewty had telephoned NHS Direct with an enquiry regarding her gangster husband, Arthur.
This esteemed organ can confirm that just moments ago, Mrs Beryl Pewty appeared on the doorstep of the Neasden flat in Norman Wisdom Tower Village into a battery of TV cameras and popping flashbulbs to issue the following statement:
'Gentlemen, there is no need for panic. It is a fact that I called NHS Direct for advice following an accident in which my husband suffered a minor injury. What happened was that he banged his head on a cupboard door whilst getting a tin of cat food out, sustaining a small graze. Arthur has made a good recovery from his ordeal and is at present having a nice cup of tea and enjoying a DVD presentation of the film Grease, with John Travolta and Olivia Whateverhername was, not the crap sequel with Maxwell Caulfield. Thank you.'
With that Mrs Beryl Pewty slammed the door shut, ignoring a request from a paparazzi to 'flip her baps out for the lads'
More as we get it.