Website administrator supreme, Mark Lowton, has revealed his secret illicit past in a new tell-all book.
' My Life in 67,876 words' tells the rise and fall (and rise again) of the anally retentive entrepreneurial lad.
"I wanted to write a book about the real me using 67,876 words. It took a lot of effort - and lies - but I think I've told the real 'me'", he bullshitted.
Amazingly, Lowton's fame came from humble beginnings while sitting on the toilet at his local fast food outlet.
"I was having a wonderful shit after eating a lovely toasted cheese sandwich", said the tinny-voiced businessman, "and then at the corner of my eye I spot a big black cock poking out from a hole. I says to myself 'this must be one of them glory hole thingies'.
"The voice on the other end says 'I'm not just dangling it for some fresh air'
"So I do what comes naturally and at the end of it the nice black man slips a few pennies through the hole for my 'trouble'". Well I thinks to myself that there's money in this here racket!"
What followed was a five-year spell of traversing the glory hole industry, with young Mark making quite a name for himself as well as lots of money.
"Enough to start a spoof website to rival the best", he interrupts, "in fact it's pretty similar to what I used to do in many ways."
You can follow Marks incredible story in his new book which is available online from his own website.