Written by Skoob1999
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Wednesday, 15 October 2008

image for Car Scratched In Manchester-Arthur Pewty Accused
A Car Pictured Last Week

A professional pigeon scarer from Ardwick, Manchester, had a nightmare start to his working day when he discovered that his car, which had been street parked overnight, had been scratched all down one side leaving him with a hefty repair bill and a no claims bonus headache.

Gary 'Gazza' Grimshaw (no relation to Eileen off Coronation Street) was in no doubt about who was to blame. He told us:

'There's no doubt about it, that Arthur Pewty bloke from Neasden is behind this, and you can quote me on that. The man's a gangster, simple as. All the drug dealers and the gun runners and the gangs and the armed robbers in this town, they're all working for Arthur Pewty. Everybody knows it but they're all too scared to talk about it. You only have to mention the name Arthur Pewty around here and people go pale. He's a bastard he is, and you can tell him that from me. Just don't tell him where I live. Please.'

Arthur Pewty was reportedly watching This Morning when we called him for a reaction and therefore unable to comment.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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