Written by Carl LaFong
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Tuesday, 14 October 2008

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A leading high street charity shop looks set to close after it's shares plummeted. Oxham, founded in the 1960's by pop singer Tiny Tim, finds itself on the brink of collapse as the credit crunch hits hard.

Dr Ernest Arkwright, a leading charity expert, blames high interest rates and low consumer confidence. In an open letter to the Daily Times Newspaper he expressed his concerns, "The first signs were there at the start of the year. Many of the shops that usually prosper in the January sales were standing empty as stock collected dust". He also suggested that the reason for the drop in sales was due to a rise in crime and that some consumers had turned to "washing line theft" in desperation.

A spokesman for the Police confirmed that there was a rise in the reporting of stolen washing but denied rumours of a cover up.

Business expert Martin Frodsham warned, "They (Oxham) are the flagship of all charity shops and if they sink the others will follow. It's unthinkable".

If you have shares in Oxham or any other charity organisation we advise you to hold tight and ride out the storm. Panic selling of shares could kill off these noble institutions and render many OAPs unemployed.

For more information call our charity help line 0845 667 889 34 568 9 23

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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