Prime minister Gordon Brown has announced a declaration of war on supermarket chain Iceland.
Advertising figurehead Kerry Katona has also been placed under house arrest under suspicion of treason.
Mr Brown commented:
"Due to current global financial meltdown, I felt we had to take action against Iceland and their gross financial incompetence which has left many people without their life savings.
"Therefore I have declared war on Iceland, and we will begin shelling all 760 stores throughout the UK as soon as our forces are in position."
Mr Brown dismissed suggestions that the supermarket "Iceland" was in no way related to the volcanic island in the north Atlantic and was entirely innocent.
"We have investigated this situation in great detail" said Mr Brown.
"The supermarket is clearly linked with the country, you can see that in the name, and we will take action, I assure you of that!"
So if your mum's planning a trip for some frozen food items this coming weekend, suggest she buys fresh instead.