London - (The Godmother Ass Mess): The lead whorse which pulled the Al Qaeda Puppet Monarch's gold state coach during the Golden Jubilee charade, er...spectacle! - in 2002 has been found dead.
The severed head of 'Bunty', a grey gelding aged 35, was found in Prince Charles's four poster at Clarenece House last night.
Police fear the incident may be the culmination of a furious battle between Old Fatty Mountbatten and the Pretender to the Al Qaeda Throne after a fierce summer-long fight for more dosh and exotic foreign engagements.
Today Charles refused to name names or press charges.
However, some courtiers have a theory about why it took him so long to report the incident to the relevant authorities:
"Maybe he mistook old 'Bunty''s head nestling among the pillows for that of Camilla," senior flunkey 'Back Stairs Bob' said today.
"A common mistake round these parts."