Continuing his cabinet reshuffle, the Prime Minister has appointed Dobbin the Donkey as Lord Chancellor.
Lord Dobbin is a very high profile donkey and has appeared alongside major stars of stage and television during his long pantomime career. Christopher Biggins, Brian Conley, Allan Stewart, Jimmy Cricket and the Krankies are just some of his many co-stars to have sent carrots of congratulations.
Speaking from his stable in Derbyshire, Dobbin was said to be ecstatic, and celebrated by buying some carrots from Waitrose instead of his normal value bag from Tesco.
The Prime Minister said that as the Law has proved itself time and time again to be a total ass, it was time to put his money where his mouth is and actually appoint an ass to prove that it wouldn't be able to do much better anyway.
The first task of Lord Dobbin will be his escorting by former Lord Chancer Derry Irving to the wallpaper shop. It is understood that Lord Irving will be able to guide Lord Dobbin straight to the £200 rolls of wallpaper, thus saving time for what should be a busy donkey.