London - (Sorry Ass Mess): The London Stock Exchange chaplain is in hot water this week after launching a copyright-breaching buttock tattooing service warning against the perils of sodomy.
The Rev Peter Mullen had offered 'born-again heterosexuals' and other 'cured' gay men the chance to safeguard themselves from the heinous temptations of bum bandit shenanigans with his innovative health warning system.
This would mean tattooing a permanent slogan on their butts saying SODOMY FUCKS YOU OVER and their chins with the undisputable FELLATIO KILLS.
But a six piece gay brass band and a women's string quartet had already registered these pithy catchphrases as their professional musicians' names.
This week's High Court action now sees Mullen sued over copyright breach and illegal promotion of the registered artistes.
"WTF?" was all that Mullen's lawyer could say today.