At a private meeting in Westminster, Prime Minister Gordon Brown revealed that his recent cabinet reshuffle is only temporary until such time as he fills all the various posts on a more permanent basis later in the week.
His spokesman said:
"It was important for Gordon to keep his name and that of his government in the public's eye while he made some monumental political decisions.
"However, while he was deciding what decisions he should decide about, there was nothing except doom and gloom keeping the name of his party and government in the newspapers."
Ed Bolleaux, (pronounced as it looks, and not the French version) his adviser, said that a caretaker cabinet reshuffle would be the perfect antidote to all the governmental woes, ills and bad news.
"So for a start we had this great wheeze to bring back Peter Mandelabra on a three-strike basis. That is, if he craps up this time, he really will be out on his rear. Also, Margaret Beckett is just the type of person we need for the satirists to get to work for a while. And with the pantomime season almost here, we felt it was vital to have someone called Jack Straw in the government.
"These people will fill-in for the week to a fortnight it might take to get the permanent people in place. We have been trawling the country for suitable people of no political experience or allegience, as we feel that we have now exhausted the idea of using people from within the party, because they plainly haven't an idea how to run the country. So we felt a fresh start would be a good idea."
There has been a suggestion this may take some time to arrange, but there are some authoritative reports that many of the top names from Big Brother, Britain's Got Talent and Jackanory have been lined up to take the top Secretary of State and Ministerial positions.