Sir Bob Geldolf has come to the rescue of Britain's wealthiest men as the credit crunch begins to affect their billions of pounds.
"Rich Aid" is being held in the Dog and Duck pub in Islington and will be beamed live around the world next week to billions of people. Acts taking part include lots of comedy ones.
Sir Bob said, while refusing a haircut, "The country's wealthiest guy, that steel magnate bloke, is now down from being worth £33 billion to his last £16 billion. The telephone bloke is down to his last £497 million and the fellow with the sports shops who owns Newcastle United is down to his last £200 million.
"This is a disgrace. We musn't let house repossessions, homeless people, single parents, and people who can't get their life-saving operations on the NHS overshadow the trauma these wealthy people are going through.
"In fact, I have heard some of the wealthy people are having to cancel their daily Fortnum and Mason truffle deliveries and reduce themselves to shopping in places like Harrods and Waitrose.
"I urge people to buy tickets for this comic and funny "Rich Aid" and help these poor wealthy people get their stocks and shares back on track so they can get back to enjoying the billionaire lifestyles they have become accustomed to.
"As I have said at a Farmers' Union gathering in the past, 'Give us your Muckin' Funny', and help make Rich Aid hilarious."