United Nation's child welfare advocates chastised jolly ole England for what they see as the "Les Miserable" treatment of British laddies and lassies.
The Scot practice of jailing 8 year olds and the England's imprisonment of children whom are only ten came in for strict castigation.
United Kingdom Child Rearing official, Sir Harry Ballbuster was prompt to defend the traditional disciplining habits on John Bull's Island:
"I have not any idea what manner of a rascal I might have become if mater and pater did not kick me in the arse with mathematical regularity. Little Harry Ballbuster, in fact, just wrote to his mum and me that he was quite grateful for our shipping him off to Devil's island at ten when he snitched a second bowl of gruel while being educated at the Thenardier School for Scamps and Rapscallions.
"The little fella actually waxed quite eloquent about inhabiting the same hovel as had his old grandparent and his father. That lad is now on the right track. Upon returning to England after his twenty year sentence is completed, I have no doubt that the forty year old Harry Jr will be one of the greatest Ballbusters of all time!"