Doctors have successfully convinced the Republican Presidential candidate John McCain that he requires a radical elephantoplasty procedure to offset his otherwise aging visage.
The operation, in which prominent elephant appendages are surgically attached, will be performed tomorrow afternoon and be broadcast live for salivating American voters.
Most pundits predict that a elephant trunk will, more than likely, be fixed to the lower jaw area of Mr McCain's head. No word yet on the cost or who will ultimately bear the price of Mr McCain's operation. Mr McCain is no stranger to such eleborate surgical procedures.
In 1999 he had a donkey's penis successfully implanted in his groin to improve his manly bulge while campaigning for the Republican nomination that year.