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Thursday, 2 October 2008

image for Speaker of the House of Commons in the cow dung
May I take your ordure sir?

The National Farmers Union is taking the Speaker of the House of Commons to the European Court on two counts.

Firstly, they are questioning why he is called the speaker when he never actually makes a speech.

And secondly, and more importantly, they feel he is bringing the reputation of horse dung and cow manure into disrepute by constantly shouting "Ordure, Ordure" at the dozy publicly-funded representatives who sleep there.

Representative Farmer Giles said:

"I am fed up with this speaker chappy constantly shouting "Ordure, Ordure".

"In a place such as the Houses of Parliament, where there is so much hot air, animal waste can really go rotten so quickly.

"And the fact this speaker person constantly shouts about the basic by-product of our industry without reference to the hard-working cow, horse, pig or Jonathan Ross who produces it is frankly an affrontery.

"I appreciate he is shouting "Ordure, Ordure" because that is what most of the members of the House of Commons speak anyway, but I am sorry. If he is to be so disrespectful regarding our hard-working farm animals, then he has to be taken to task."

Lord St John Stevas has a silly first name.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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