In an effort to ride the financial storm, the Bradford and Bingley Building Society has decided to change direction.
From tomorrow, the building society will no longer have anything to do with savings, finance or buildings and is moving into selling ice cream.
Their spokesmen, Ben Bradford and Jerry Bingley said:
"We have a great opportunity here to bring ice cream products to the general public. We have a ready-made network of high street shops, which could easily have freezers installed for keeping ice cream.
"Our counter customer service representatives already wear a natty uniform which could be uprated for ice cream with just the simple addition of a paper hat.
"It makes sense to move away from finance, as, despite our many years in the business, we patently haven't a clue. So by moving into ice cream, for which we haven't a clue either, at least we won't effect the economy as much if we make a complete hash of it.
"Although, correct me if I'm wrong, but I do believe hash is made from potatoes.
"Our next step is to make natural use of our initials "B & B" and move into the Bed and Breakfast market. We haven't a clue there either, but thankfully any stupid decisions only affect our unfortunate, over-worked staff and not our overpaid and highly valued directors whose golf games have been severly restricted by this summer's consistently bad weather."