Following lengthy investigations, the cause of the Worldwide Credit Crunch has been traced to a chip shop in Carlisle.
Its been discovered that the shop's owner, Mongoe Gongoe, has been selling his chips for only 3p per bag with free ketchup!
Most of Carlisle's residents have been eating his cut price chips every day for the past 18 months and local supermarkets were first to feel the pinch. In turn, the local housing market suffered as locals refused to move away from the vicinity of the cheap chip shop. The lack of spending in Carlisle caused a run on the banks as local businesses went to the wall. Great Britain buckled under the strain and this had a knock on effect throughout Europe.
American food exports to Europe suffered as a result, causing American Farming to go under. This in turn brought the economic giant of USA to her knees.
President Bush said today "Mr Gongoe must raise the price of his chips. If he doesn't we will take the necessary action to ensure the economic survival of America."
The British Government are holding crisis talks with Mr Gongoe.
It is believed his plan to include free batter with his chips could push the Americans towards a military response.