Written by Monkey Woods
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Thursday, 25 September 2008

image for Ruth Kelly To Step Down Because People Think She Is A Man
Sir Ruth Kelly

Transport Secretary Ruth Kelly is to step down from office in November because people think she is a man, according to a source in Whitehall.

Doorman, Bernard Hodgkins-Disease, told our reporter that Miss Kelly, who has four children under the age of 11, has decided to spend more time with the kids she has thus far neglected, but is hurt more by the 'gender issue'.

Even some of the government back-bench MPs with poor eyesight, mistake her for a chap when sitting in the House of Commons. One of these, Ted Chump, MP for Brighouse & Rastrick, said:

"I thought she were a man. All I could hear was this bloke's voice, but when I looked, he was wearing a skirt!"

Another, Arthur Terning-Wright, the Tory spokesman on Road Safety, told us:

"I spotted her in the Gents' lavatory one afternoon, but I thought nothing of it. She's a jolly good fellow, that Kelly!"

As well as looking after her neglected children, Miss Kelly has been spoken about as the new assistant in the BBC's Doctor Who series. Her part has already been written-in. She would play the role of 46-year-old mother-of-four, Butch.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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