Written by Steddyeddy
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Topics: Emma Watson

Monday, 22 September 2008

image for Could Emma Watson actually be a man?
Some seats in a theatre somewhere

The biggest shock to hit the entertainment industry since Elvis was discovered working in a chip shop outside Barnsley in 2001 has emerged this morning.

Harry Potter starlet, attractive young woman and male teenagers' heart, and other bodily areas' throb, Emma Watson, has been discovered as perhaps being a man.

The star was appearing in a 2008 remake of the 1839 play 'Richelieu; Or the Conspiracy', when, as she incorrectly uttered the play's immortal line as "The Penis mightier than the Sword", she lifted her flowing skirt to reveal a cod-piece, quickly followed with an ad-lib "I can take the lead part in Equus too, you know!".

Theatre-goers were said to be shocked, gob-smacked and even distraught, with the first three rows of the theatre stalls fainting in unison, and seven elderly ladies and one person of unknown sexual orientation taken to intensive care suffering from heart palpitations and profuse sweating.

Evening Standard theatre critic, Nobby Leedinglcue, said:

"I have never seen anything like this before, especially during such a mind-bogglingly and excruciatingly boring play. However, this diversion was so lively, at least it gave me something to write about.

"I understand that upwards of 248,000 young men last night offered to intimately check out in more detail whether Miss Watson is a man or not."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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