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Sunday, 21 September 2008

image for Boris suggests second airport to replace Gatwick be located in Merseyside
Airport is not just an Arthur Haley book or a song by the Motors, says Boris

Hot on the heels of a Thames Estuary airport to replace Heathrow, Boris Johnson, the affable Mayor of London, has suggested that a second London airport to replace Gatwick should be built off the coast in Merseyside.

He said: "Having insulted the people of Merseyside some months ago, I felt it only fair to really try and redress the balance. I am proposing an 8-lane, dual carriageway airport off the coast of Merseyside in the Irish Sea to replace Gatwick.

"I appreciate that some people may say that Merseyside a bit north of Gatwick, but whatho? At least it will shut those people in the Gatwick flight-paths up, once and for all.

"We did buy some land in the Merseyside Estuary last year. It was frightfully cheap I say. In fact, it was thousands of per cent cheaper than the price of equivalent coastal land, so we risked 10,000 acres at £1 an acre.

"The problem was when we got up there to see the 'lay of the land' - which I might add is not some blonde totty from Toxteth - we were a bit shocked to see the tide had come in.

"But bally hoo, whatho, don't you know. Not to worry."

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