Harry Potter, the JK Rowling creation, is to become the new Labour Minister for Magic, after the authoress made a huge £1million donation to party funds on Friday.
Potter is a little lad magician, and prone to performing magic spells, something Prime Minister Gordon Brown and his beleaguered fellow ministers could well do with, after a horrendous past twelve months, when everything they've touched has turned to excrement.
Rowling gave the cash to the government because she has too much, after writing the never-ending series of Daniel Radcliffe books.
Despite being able to wave a wand and pull rabbits from a top hat, Potter may well struggle to overcome Labour's seemingly insurmountable problems.
And author Rowling laughed as she said:
"I think we're all having a bit of trouble separating fact from fantasy with this Labour government. Even I would be hard-pushed to write a happy ending to this debacle."