After almost a while as Prime Minister of the UK, Gordon Brown realised yesterday that he is leading the country.
Up to now, he thought Tony Blair was in charge, and didn't realise he was actually Prime Minister himself until just before dinner yesterday.
He said: "I was discussing with my wife Cherie, er, oh, no, she's Tony's wife, isn't she. Er, anyway, I was having a chat with the wife as we chose which Lloyd Grossman sauce to put in the curried haggis, when she said how were things today at the despatch box.
"For one horrible moment I thought I was meant to have started work with the Royal Mail and she was asking me about letter collections.
"Anyway, she then asked what is was like to have been Prime Minister for a while and would she be coming along to the Annual Labour Conference with me.
"I thought she was pregnant again. Anyway, when she explained to me about the Conference, I nearly crapped myself.
"I thought I'd be able to sit down in front of the telly with a tub of Haribo and a few beers to watch the Conference on some obscure satellite channel with Cilla Black advertisements in the privacy of my own home, when I realised that I am the Prime Minister. It's actually me! I have to go and make speeches and greet Ed Balls and gently shake him by the throat.
"So, for my first duty as the actual Prime Minister, I'd like to say to the people of Britain, a warm, heartfelt and sincere 'Hello'."