Written by queen mudder

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Friday, 19 September 2008

image for NATO's Autumn Equinox warning: Queen 'is like a Damien Hirst sheep trapped in formaldehyde'
Loyal toast of embalming fluid with her nephew George W Bush last year

Balmoral Castle, Scotland - (Nikita Khrushchev Mess): NATO bigwigs reckon the IRA Puppet Monarch may not survive the most cataclysmic Autumn Equinox since Alaric, king of the Visigoths, sacked Rome in 410 AD.

"She's like some cloven-hooved beastie trapped inside a Damien Hirst pickling tank," NATO head of military intelligence Field Marshall General Prof V Smart said today.

"A sloshed cold war icon suspended in a vat of suspect moonshine," Smart continued, "totally shagged out from a lifetime of whoring for the KGB carpetbaggers behind the global market turmoil."

The appraisal comes amid reports that Old Fatty Mountbatten has lost a packet in the Lehman Brothers bankruptcy.

Palace petty cash reserves are already at rock bottom after last year's $200 billion government bail out of the Northern Crock Bank.

The Autumn Equinox is on Monday 22 September.

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