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Thursday, 18 September 2008

image for British Misprint Society claim Gary Glitter is a pedant
A "man of no means" in a huff through being ignored by Gary Glitter

The British Misprint Society, which is sponsored by the Grauniad Newspaper, has today labelled failed glam rock star Gary Glitter a pedant.

In a statement issued by its director of communications, Professor Brian Brain, he explains the dismay of the society that one of the 70's most adored pop icons has fallen by the wayside by being not very nice.

Professor Brain explains: "You can tell by the way he acts that Mr Glitter is a pedant. In this day and age when offering a youngster a sweet, you don't say 'would you like a confectionery item that is based on sugars cooked to the hard-crack stage?'.

"We at the British Misprint Society are also aware that while Mr Glitter really likes his food, because he appears to not only like young grills, but seems especially keen to get his cook out in the presence of his young female fans. In fact, I can confirm that a member of the British Misprint Society was on hand in Vietnam on an occasion when Mr Glitter was overheard to be encouraghing his yong female fans to be cannibalistic when he asked if one of them would like to 'eat his cook'. I dread to think what Fanny Haddock would have made of that kettle of fish had she been alive today!

"Also what is worrying to us at the British Misprint Society is that it appears, disturbingly, he may not like either tramps or beggars, because it would seem that he is not in the slightest way Hobosensual."

According to the British Misprint Society, Gary Glitter is off to visit the Hardon Collider in Switzerland.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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