London's famous Black Cabs are deliberately setting themselves on fire and taking copycat action in, what the capital's top policeman Sir Ian Blair is calling, Taximeter 3: The Rise Of The Machines.
Commissioner Blair, that one who is in racism trouble with the Asian copper, has said that the recent spate of Cab Fires, now totalling EIGHT, are clear cases of self-induced spontaneous vehicle combustion (SISVC), and is directly attributable do the decidedly low tips being handed over by passengers in the capital.
Sir Blair made his comments after the latest of the fires occurred in central London on Wednesday night. A passenger tendered a £20 note for his fare, which had been £12.50, and told the driver to:
"Keep the change."
The taxi made a strange rumbling sound which, according to its driver, Sunil Darma, lasted for about thirty seconds. Fearing the worst, Darma alighted from the angry vehicle and took refuge in a bus stop. The taxi then exploded in a ball of flame.
All the taxis involved in the fires have been of the troublesome TX4-type which have a 56 registration. They are quite similar to the T1000 - "cybernetic organisms, living tissue over a metal endoskeleton" - and all drivers have been contacted to ask them to bring them in for a check-up.
Commissioner Blair said:
"We have to be careful.The 600 series were easy to spot, with their rubber skin, but these are different.
"They feel no pain, have no emotions and will stop at nothing to achieve their big tips.
"They're out there. They can't be bargained with. They can't be reasoned with. They doesn't feel pity or remorse or fear. And they absolutely will not stop, EVER, until they get bigger tips!"