London/Sunday Times - The Armada couldn't do it, the Luftwaffe couldn't do it, Goebels couldn't do it, Russian Spy Sex Scandals couldn't do it, but Britain's OWN courts DID it....subject this Brave Island Bastion of Independence in one stroke of a pen to foreign tyranny!
Citing a loophole in the 1996 Arbitration Act, the Muslim Arbitration Tribunal finally got its way, long rumored to be in effect, that sharia courts could administer "justice" to Muslims residing in a country NOT THEIR OWN!
"We finally got our foot in the door," a sharia judge said smugly, "we're going to start with divorce, inheritance questions and domestic violence, and move up our agenda from there. By the time we're done we'll have won our Jihad without firing a shot, and also keep these women in their place!"
The US Consul was inundated today with VISA requests from displaced Barristers, Human Rights Activists, Titled Gentry, and middle class working women, all wishing to emigrate to the Colonies.
A US official said America would welcome all "of our cousins who in their continued pursuit of free speech will further our own pursuit of liberty for mankind."
Presidential Rock Star Barack Hussein Obama reacted quickly to the startling news of increased British Immigration. "NOT SO FAST !," he warned, "what you've seen in Britain is only the beginning! We can't have these people crossing our borders! They WON'T take our welfare programs, free education, hospital care, child care and help for unwed mothers....they'll put our Democratic Party OUT OF BUSINESS....the GOVERNMENT unemployment lines wIll swell to historic proportions, and I'll loose MY political base!"
Obama reacted violently to reports out today that government employees now owe the IRS over $3.5 Billion in delinquent taxes. "What do you expect, "he snarled, "when our own Representative Charles Rangle can't interpret the code he's in charge of on the House Ways and Means Committee and gets in tax trouble,, how can you expect the average postal worker making $38.50 an hour plus benefits to comply! I suppose you think Reverend Al Sharpton was a crook for not paying his $ 1 million in taxes on those Tax Exempt Shake Down Corporations he's in charge of too!"
"Everbody's in a hurry," he continued," after January you are going to see a New America! I plan to expand sharia court doctrine here in the US to include arbitration of IRS disputes, declaration of rental income for Democrats void, political action extortion applauded, and the new economic Drug Trade Treaty with my good friend Hugo Chavez. "
" You want Urban Renewal,"he ranted," you'll have it with my new Drug Policy! Wait and see, NY, Chicago, Detroit, Philadelphia....they'll look like Mexico City and Caracas....a model for the rest of the world to follow...everyone High and Happy! I am CHANGE , and all of the Brothers will have plenty of Change in their pockets soon!"
Republican VP candidate Sarah Palin reacted calmly, as usual."Moose puckey and weasel poop", she exclaimed mildly,,"we're going to hoist him on his own petard thanks to his sharia courts. All we have to do is chant "White Pussy, White Pussy, White Pussy" 3 times and Michelle will ARBITRATE his ass right out to the courtyard for a good terminal stoning!"