Radical cleric and Belmarsh-detainee Mustafa Kemal Mustafa - variously known as Cap'n Hook and Abu Hamza - today issued a statement via his lawyers @aintgottaprayer.com that convicted "shoe bomber" Richard Reid is his natural son by 'lifestyle guru' and Prime Ministerial lingerie adviser Carole Caplin.
The shock announcement came as Cherie Booth and her sartorial mentor Caplin were seen sampling pre-sale bargains at Manolo Blahnik's new footwear emporium adjacent to HPM Belmarsh.
Asked to comment on this startling announcement, Caplin said "F**k off you commie Shi'ites or I'll sue".
Meanwhile US Justice Department officials have stated that a 1998 request for Hamza's extradition to Yemen may have failed due to the Clinton administration "putting the boot in".
Jimmy Choo is 25.