Written by Paul Bavill
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Friday, 28 May 2004

image for Blair: "I'm Staying"
Blair: "Come and Have A Go"

Under mounting pressure to resign from both Backbenchers and Cabinet colleagues, Prime Minister Tony Blair has reinforced his intention to remain in Number 10 Downing Street until after the next General Election.

His intent was confirmed last night when the 1st Battalion Royal Engineers were deployed to lay anti-personnel mines along the length of Downing Street.

After the walls of his Downing Street residence were sandbagged and the door bricked up, Mr. Blair gave a press conference by megaphone from his bathroom window.

"I fully intend to stay in office until after the election and our historic third term. If you wanted a party who could get rid of its leader you should have voted Tory."

Fearing the beginnings of a power struggle within the cabinet, Mr. Blair also ordered the MI6 agents to seize control of the Chancellor's Number 11 residence and make sure "the whole problem went away".

The SAS are on standby should the siege turn violent.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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