The newly established National Employment Committee, headed by a hard-working and equally hard expenses-claiming Minister is seeking a new Chair.
The Committee, comprised of ever-so-hard-working business people aims to help the less-hard-working become more hard-working.
They will be targeting income-support scroungers who regularly appear at car boot sales selling remainder lots from retail catalogue chains and toting illegally imported cigarettes around working men's clubs.
The minister, who is yet to be named, said:
"This is going to be a close and tight Committee aimed at eliminating pockets of non-hard-workingness in the country. We want the hard of working to be able to get out there and gain employment and stop harping on about how "Billy Bosnia or Peter Poland is taking their jobs".
"We are looking for a fine and upstanding Chair for the committee. Not one of the rubbish DFS ones or a self-assembly Ikea chair, but one which will take my weight when I sit on it.
"I, for one, am fed up with the poor workmanship of some Chairs provided by establishments to sit on for committee meetings. They are often so uncomfortable that I find it really hard to get to sleep during those vital meeting I must attend in order to claim mileage and expenses.
"However, because of environmental and greenhouse emission ramifications, I would rather that the chair cannot be plugged into the mains supply, which is something the public seem to regularly suggest."