Written by Dr Will C U Now
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Thursday, 11 September 2008

image for Domestic fuel bills to bills to be cut in a startling new move
Potential new pacific UK location.

Gordon Brown revealed today a stunning plan to reduce domestic fuel consumption.

"Following extensive negotiations with the major fuel companies, I have come up with a plan to re locate the United Kingdom to the equator." said the prime minister.

"We will be able to cut down on heating at a stroke and the increased hours of daylight will help reduce our reliance on electricity and permit us to use more solar energy."

Professor Hugh Jarse who was part of the government think tank that came up with the idea said "We have located several empty areas in the pacific that will meet our needs quite nicely, and all we need to do is get a fleet of tug boats to move us there. It is quite possible as I saw it happen in a recent Walkers crisps advert on ITV."

Walkers TV advertising frontman Gary Linekar was unavailable for comment.

Gordon Brown revealed that the oil companies will use their mining and drilling expertise to release the UK from its ground anchors allowing it to float freely. The whole process is expected to take 817 years 4 days 3 hours to complete and cost more than a trillion pounds more than any original estimate.

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