Written by Alexander Wilson
Print this

Wednesday, 10 September 2008

image for Fleetwood Pier inferno - hundreds of suspects arrested

Following Tuesday morning's fire which destroyed Fleetwood's historic pier, causing hundreds of pounds worth of damage, Lancashire Police announced the arrest of over 350 suspected arsonists.

At a press conference this afternoon, a representative of the Forensic Science Squad gave some details of the investigation so far. He said, "Although we found a suspicious DNA sample on a discarded MD20/20 bottle left underneath the pier, it could not be matched with the National DNA Database. We therefore carried a familial DNA test to identify people closely related to the owner of the DNA sample."

He continued, "As a result we are able to reveal that we are holding 362 suspects from the Fleetwood area, with a further 215 Fleetwood residents under investigation".

Police are also anxious to trace a man in his forties seen loitering under the pier in the early hours of Tuesday morning. According to some witnesses the man was sucking a Fisherman's Friend at the time. In a separate development, police apprehended a dock worker attempting to flee the town on the Knott End ferry.

Make Alexander Wilson's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 4 multiplied by 3?

8 14 12 6
60 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more