Written by Paul Deacon

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Topics: Office related, eyes

Thursday, 6 December 2001

image for Manager "Bright tailed and Bushy eyed"

A senior management executive is celebrating today after finally being able to comb his eyebrows upwards.

Terry Lashmar, 56, told TheSpoof.com "It's fantastic. I have been waiting for over 10 years for my eyebrows to get bushy enough to comb upwards. Having wispy straight eyebrows has undoubtedly held me back in my career but now at last I can hold my head up in the boardroom".

According to his wife Valerie, Mr Lashmar has recently been spending "simply ages" in the bathroom perfecting to correct upward brush. "It's been very important to Terry, I know. Many junior colleagues have been promoted above him and he felt without the brushed-up eyebrows he simply lacked gravitas. He tried the coughing slowly and loudly and rocking back on forth on his heels in the crowded lift, you know like all top executives do, but sadly without the right eyebrows he was just not taken seriously".

Mr Lashmar added that he now had "supreme confidence" and that I was sacked.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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