Beijing - (Ass Mess): Top UK medal hopeful Heather Mills is in pole position for a record breaking win in the paralympic gold digger finals.
Mills, 41, faced stiff competition in the Anna Nicole Smith Memorial heats dedicated in memory of top-heavy lopsided borderline personalities.
But she came through to smash international world records in the specialised blagging-your-way-thru-the-divorce-courts qualifier and is now 5/4 fav to take the gold medal.
"She may not yet be in the Lily Safra geriatric class," a Paralympic source said today.
"You need to shoot dead three consecutive banker husbands and prove it was suicide," a top Interpol officer added.
Ivana Trump is 69.