Written by queen mudder
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Topics: Heather Mills

Monday, 8 September 2008

image for Heather Mills in paralympic gold digger finals
Heather now 5/4 fav to take gold...

Beijing - (Ass Mess): Top UK medal hopeful Heather Mills is in pole position for a record breaking win in the paralympic gold digger finals.

Mills, 41, faced stiff competition in the Anna Nicole Smith Memorial heats dedicated in memory of top-heavy lopsided borderline personalities.

But she came through to smash international world records in the specialised blagging-your-way-thru-the-divorce-courts qualifier and is now 5/4 fav to take the gold medal.

"She may not yet be in the Lily Safra geriatric class," a Paralympic source said today.

"You need to shoot dead three consecutive banker husbands and prove it was suicide," a top Interpol officer added.

Ivana Trump is 69.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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