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Topics: Freddie Starr

Sunday, 7 September 2008

image for Hamster ate my Freddie Starr
Hamster eats crap comedian

Liverpool UK: In a bizarre twist of fate, Liverpool comedian Freddie Starr was eaten by a hamster.

Donna Starr, currently employed as a zookeeper at Chester Zoo, revealed her sad loss.

"I had taken my pet hamster to the zoo last week to have an ear infection treated by the zoos vet and had put him in a cage with all the other hamsters."

Sobbing, she continued....

"later that day I went to pick him up after the op and put him into a cat box for the journey home.
Little did I know that I had picked up the wrong hamster and the one I picked up was the lesser well known but extremely ferocious, vicious and carnivorous Devil Hamster.

"I went upstairs to put my dressing gown on, ready for bed that night, when I heard an almighty scream downstairs. Rushing down, I found my Freddie head first in a vice like grip between the Devil Hamsters fangs.

"I tried my best to beat him off with a mop I bought from Asda for £6.99, good value actually you should get one, but the hamster bit down and his neck snapped in two"

"I phoned Max Clifford, the famous UK publicist but he said "Don't worry about it love, if there's one way to resurrect Freddies career it will be a story like this"

Unfortunately police marksmen turned up 10 minutes later and ended the fiasco with an officer saying "I had no alternative but to finish the comedian off, his routine was old hat and his jokes were shite"

The hamster was sedated and offered a deal by Max Clifford of Jim Bowen plus Ken Dodd for exclusive rights to his story.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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