The Professional Northerner Alliance have taken control of London amid scenes of chaos and jubilation.
In a dramatic overnight advance, Alliance units entered the capital after the Tellyban fled towards their stronghold, Islington. London is now said to be totally clogged.
The Alliance leader General Colin Wellandhi told TheSpoof.com "This is a great victory. For years we've had to endure the lax regime of poofy Southerners. We hope to bring some harsh Northern commonsense back to the country".
The Professional Northerner Alliance have a very poor record on human cliches. Women are forced to wear flowery aprons, headscarves and heavy boots whilst many men have been systematically tortured with ferrets.
General Wellandhi, described the accusations as "a load of tripe".
The Professional Northerner Alliance thanked the US for its support "Without their mushy-pea bombs they could never have replaced one brutal regime with another" said General Mikhali Parkinson.