Deputy PM John Prescott, fat - NOT obese, claims that the media is over exaggerating the so called obesity issue and claims it is complete nonsense.
"I have been eating pork pies for at least 70 years" said the Deputy PM who was once voted ugliest fat guy in the UK and never lost the competition since.
"I mean, look at me, I'm in the street talking to people from the press enjoying a couple of pies, do I look worried?"
John Prescott went on the say "I am a picture of health and supremely fit as all British men are, there's not many that can lift as many pies in one day as I do, that takes stamina and strong will".
When asked why he needed two Jags when he travelled he said, "it's to do with my gross fatness ... and possibly my smell, which is different to 'obesity', as a result, my wife cant fit into the car with me so she gets her own Jag as well, its nothing and as per usual, the press try to make something of it when there is nothing to discuss".
In a scathing attack on the press he said;
"obesity is just something the media made up to sell papers and to waste my time as future prime minister which is a job that I am not interested in, we have bigger more important issues to deal with, such as the dangerously low number of Pie and Mash shops in London"
John Prescott went on to say "when I auditioned for the part of Jabba the Hut in Star Wars, I believe I did not get the part due to my 'fatness' rather than obesity, so all this nonsense about obesity is just a fairy tale", we don't have obesity problems in the UK so it does not cost the NHS anything therefore there is nothing to fix ".
"I mean, if I were obese, George Lucas would have said something, he's that kind of guy"
At this point, John Prescott dropped one of his pie's because he could not fit 4 'whole' pies into his mouth at once while talking and took out his frustration on an innocent member of the public. The NHS will be picking up the patients medical bill of 1.5 million pounds.