Written by Double Diamond
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Thursday, 4 September 2008

image for UK population to be frozen down
"Get ready for the big freeze"

In a shock announcement this morning, Prime Minister Gordon Brown has announced plans to put the population of the UK into suspended animation for the next 5 years.

In a press conference at 10 Downing street this morning the Prime Minister announced:

"Due to the on-going economic woes plaguing the nation, the absence of a summer for the past two years, and everyone being really, really fed-up and pissed off with life in general, I have decided to implement a period of suspended animation with immediate effect.

"Cryogenic centres will be opening around the country where people can present themselves to be frozen down and begin the period of hibernation.

"Hopefully 5 years from now, the economy will have recovered and long hot summers will be with us once again. Everyone will emerge from hibernation in a much better fucking mood than the one they currently inhabit, I know I will!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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