Lord Sebastian & Co., the Chair of the London Organising Committee of the London Olympic and Paralympic Games has announced in a statement the new sports that will be included in the 2012 London Games.
Of primary interest to people in this country is the children's playground favourite, British Bulldogs.
Lord & Co. said that, it was important to get Britain's morbidly obese children out of their bedrooms, and onto this great nation's streets and playing fields, even if they are knee-deep in dogshit.
Exercise, he said, was the key to better health and improved lifestyles, as well as possible medals at the 2012 London Olympics, particularly in 'sports' that only Britain knew how to play.
'Bulldogs', as it was known before it was banned, involves a large number of people standing at one end of a designated area, who try to evade 'tagging' by a single person - the Bulldog - as they make their way across the designated area to the other side.
Much violence is involved.
In fact, the more violence, the better.
Britain has an enormous number of Bulldogs players, many of whom will be within the optimum age group of 16-24 by 2012.
"But," said Lord & Co., "we need to have an intensive programme of weight loss before we can think about winning gold. We want lean, mean, fighting machines, not rolling balls of jelly whose thighs rub together when they walk!"