Britons were struck incredulous when they discovered that Home Secretary Smith was the widow of JFK and Aristotle Onassis. More shock came from a leaked document from the Secretary that warned PM Brown about the impending cataclysm facing the UK from the critical economic downturn.
Smith admonished the Prime Minister to be on the look out for the following social crisis:
- Fish and Blue Chips will skyrocket in price!
- Skinheads will become even more electable than their balding Labor party look alikes
- Which will inflame Al-Qaida in Liverpool and every other terrorist franchise now operating in the UK
- Cocaine prices will rise, while snorting of the happy dust will fall, even at the Bailey!
- Alcohol distributors will have to drop prices unless they want to see all of England go through the DT's
Sources close to Brown said the PM plans to support an alcohol drinks tax rebate to keep the UK from an overpopulation of pink elephants.