Written by Monkey Woods
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Sunday, 31 August 2008

image for Vivienne Westwood And Stella McCartney To Oversee 'Changing Of The Guards' Bearskin Hats Change
The right to bear hats

Weird 'fashion' designers Vivienne Westwood, 98, and Stella McCartney have been asked by an Animal Rights group to redesign the bearskin hats worn by the sentry guards at Buckingham Palace.

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PEfETHIC) is meeting with officials from the Ministry of Defence (MoD) this week, after it was revealed that each hat that is made requires the skin of one Russian grizzly bear.

Members of PEfETHIC became outraged when they discovered this fact, and said that in the modern age, to use real bearskin was inhuman, though not inbear.

The animal charity has asked the MoD to use fake fur, but this does not meet stringent standards, and does not keep the guards' heads as warm as real fur.

Now, Westwood and McCartney have been asked to design a new shape for the hats, summat you or I could easily have done, if they'd asked us. The odd pair will, no doubt, receive a handsome fee for their 'services', and the poor guards will probably end up wearing a hat with flowers coming out of the top, or with a design that wouldn't be out of place at Ascot on Ladies' Day.

'Comedian' Ricky Gervais has added his weight to the debate, despite the fact that nobody asked him to, and has written to PM Gordon Brown voicing his displeasure.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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