Written by Paul Bavill
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Topics: Fire, Turner Prize

Wednesday, 26 May 2004

image for Saatchi Warehouse Fire Wins Turner Prize
A New Line in Post Modern Impressionism

More than 100 artworks from Charles Saatchi's famous collection have been destroyed in a warehouse fire. The blaze began around midday, by 3pm the Turner Arts Foundation had awarded the controversial art prize to the suspected arsonist.

Whilst this has destroyed many of the much-discussed works of Tracey Emin and Damien Hirst, it has been critically acclaimed as a post modern tribute to the futility of capitalism.

London Fire Brigade spokesman Gary Bevan said: "This was a very intense fire, black smoke and a red glow could be seen from miles away. It combined with flame and heat to give a surreal incandescence and a sublime texture that speaks to you on just so many levels".

Frontman for the Turner Art Foundation spoke to gathered journalists critics and Bohemian herbal cigarette types. "Never before has the London Docklands seen such a dramatic display of conceptual art and raw talent expressed so furiously and openly where the true art loving public can see it without charge. This is a defining moment in art history. It gives me a great pleasure to award the coveted Turner Prize to this phenomenal existentialist masterpiece."

Charles Saatchi plans to spend his insurance money to purchase the burnt wreckage and keep the fire burning.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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