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Friday, 29 August 2008

image for Home Secretary livid at "Team GB's" medal results
Olympic flames now at sale prices in Poundstretcher stores everywhere

The Home Secretary, Jacqui Smith is said to be "absolutey livid", "gobsmacked" and even "most upset" with the medals won by Team GB at the recent Olympics held in Beijing.

This morning, she called Lord Coe into her office and her rantings and ravings at the poor man could be heard all over London.

According to our man on the spot, Bernard Zit, the Home Secretary questioned why the team had to fly all the way to China in order to win the medals.

"It appears that while she concedes that 47 medals - 19 gold, 13 silver and 15 bronze - was a terrific haul and the best for a century, she was really upset that they had to go to China to do it."

In a statement handed out to Bernard Zit, she says: "Why the hell did all those people have to schlep to China in order to win those 47 medals? Wouldn't it have been cheaper and more convenient if they had stayed at home and won them here instead?"

The Home Secretary then went on to question the cost of flights and accommodation, stressing that if they had won the medals at home, the competitors could have walked, taken the train, driven or even come by horse and cart, rather than take expensive and polluting plane journeys and stay in expensive hotels.

She finished "I hope that when the Olympics come to the UK in 2012, the British team doesn't fly to China to try and win their medals there again. That would be truly expensive and outrageous."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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