Written by queen mudder
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Wednesday, 26 May 2004

In a shock announcement from Buckingham Palace today, Betty Von Battenberg, consort of Phil the Greek, has stepped down from the throne following release of State Documents from the National Archive that show that none of the royal family actually survived the Luftwaffe's bombing of the palace in 1940.

"It was just meant to be a temporary thing", said her ex-Maj, "the government put in some look-alikes to fool the British Electorate....oops I mean of course the Nazis......It was all meant to end after the war, but things got so cosy and jolly for us, we just decided to carry on!"

Asked why no one had thought fit to mention this to the British people, or the Americans, or the French, or Russians - or anybody else for that matter - Battenberg said: "We were hired on an open-ended contract with no official get-out clause. And when nobody came up with a better idea, we just decided to stick with the original plan."

No comment as yet from 10 Downing Street, where an emergency DNA-testing team from M15 is believed to be eliciting the 'full co-operation' from Mrs and Mrs Blair and from the Prime Ministerial archives that include samples from Mrs Thatcher and Ted Heath.

More news is expected later today when bodily fluid samples from the General Pinochet Foundation are rushed by air from Chile and compared with specimens supplied by (Prince) Charles.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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