It's official. The Rice shortage in Britain is having no noticeable effect on the economy.
Many economists thought that with Condoleezza Rice not having been seen in the UK for several months, this might be having a severe effect on the economy. However, Devid Milliband, the chap with a brother in Government also called Milliband, was especially upbeat about the situation.
"When we discovered a Condoleezza Rice shortage in Britain, I admit we did think of panicking, because panicking is something my minister's and I are very good at. However, I dispatched senior civil servants to all corners of the country to try and assess the effect this shortage of Condoleezza Rice was having on the country.
"And I am delighted to say that none of our fears have been heightened in any way. Jack Horner, the man who sits in the corner of the Foreign Office reported back from the Wipefeetonwayout Curry House in Bingley, where he had spoken at length to the owner, Mr Vin Da'Looe. Mr Da'Looe said that many, if not most of his customers hadn't noticed any appreciable effect from the Condoleezza Rice shortage at all.
"Personally, I think the excitement following our successes at the Olympic Games have a lot to do with it. For example, the happy look on the faces of people from Mansfiled when that swimmer chappie, you know, the one who has a nice nose and who dresses and looks a little bit like a girl, showed off his two medals from the top of one of Boris Johnson's busses. Well, that said it all.
"No, I think we have survived this Condoleezza Rice shortage as one nation.
"As my mum, who is called Mrs Milliband, used to say. If you can't get your Nan bread, get her a Chip Paté instead."