This summer European resort cities have found that they have imported an excess of sloshed Scots, bashed Brits and alcohol ill Irish.
The Export Commission of the UK defended the situation by insisting that there were invoices for every case shipped to the resort capitals: "If they do not want our drunks then don't order them by the plane load!"
Tourist bureaus in city after city however are accusing the UK of false advertising: "We were led to believe that we would be receiving well mannered and respectful British subjects. Instead they have sent us gangs of brawling, boozing behemoths and that's the young ladies! They gave out blow jobs like they were candy! Our hospitals have run out of morning after pills, STD test kits and headache remedies. Next summer we'll ban the Brits. Let them get bombed among the Yanks. Then no one will notice!"