London - (Decrepit Frontal Lobe Mess): Cherie Blair has hit out at press reports about her mother's recent mental decline and blamed CIA 1950's MK-ULTRA mind control programs for the old soak going gaga.
She said the daftest thing Margaret Thatcher actually ever did goes back a long, long time to the day she married ex-KGB/Mossad double agent Robert Maxwell.
"Mind you, I blame all those roadkill couture hats," Cherie, 69, said today.
"I think the CIA was been behind infecting her brain with mad cow disease-related bird flu virus as part of its MK-ULTRA mind-control program.
"They hypnotised her on the Pentagon's top secret superhallucinogen quinuclidinyl benzilate and things then really went downhill.
"That's when she got up the duff after a sordid weekend shagging George Bush Senior in Delaware that made her hormones play havoc with her hipocampus.
"My chimaera brother was a right monster."